Friday, May 4, 2012

the loud laugh.


i just finished mindy kaling's is everyone hanging out without me? (and other concerns), & i think it just might be the funniest book i've ever read.

my criterion* for deciding this is the number of times i laughed out loud - really loud - at various points. by really loud, i mean i was a little concerned i might wake up the people who live below me. but i also figured if they woke up because i was laughing at a darn good book at 230 am on a thursday night, it was payback for all the times they've been having a party on their deck at like 3am on wednesdays in the middle of the semester.

some people are trying to sleep do homework procrastinate at 3am on a wednesday, you know!

i do not consider myself a funny person. for instance, i laughed around ten times in that i-think-i-might-wake-up-my-neighbors-KARMA! laugh. ten times in like an hour! & this is the same laugh i have inspired exactly once in my whole lifetime.

it was early evening on a cold night in 2011.

her name was kati.

i don't remember what i was talking about, because i ramble a lot {for those of you who know aunie and saw her vlogs the other day, know that my memory of my own vlogs and actually all the conversations i have ever had are much the same. i have them, i say stuff, i forget what happened. i can't sum up conversations to save my life. however, if you talk to me long enough about the person to whom i was speaking, you will eventually discover all about that same conversation because i am very good at inserting random factoids into dialogue about everything else except that to which the factoid pertains. like this. see? anyway}.

i think i was talking about my hair, and i probably was, because i don't know of anything else i would describe as being "a hot mess."

& that's when kati laughed the loud laugh.

now, me, i grew up hearing the phrase "hot mess" left and right, but she didn't, so i figured it was the novelty of those two words together that threw her for a loop, but since i didn't know, i was smiling awkwardly while i waited for her to stop laughing and explain. sure enough, she said she'd heard hot used as an adjective, but not quite that way.

like i told my father, i'm reppin' the d & takin' it to university. because someone has to, right? you're welcome, kati.

& colleen, because the other day colleen and i finally managed to make our schedules coordinate after not seeing each other for basically a year, when we lived in the same building and our friendship consisted mostly of running into each other, catching up on life, and being friends on fb. and then i deleted fb and didn't talk to practically anyone from the honors college anymore, but ran into her in the mackinac building, and decided our friendship needed to go to the Next Level, by which i mean i proposed we exchange phone numbers, which really should have happened two and a half years before that, but hey, neither of us is holding a grudge about not having had that epiphany earlier. so eventually, like i said, our schedules coordinated and we went to dinner, i followed her around as she checked a few residents out in the meticulous style of a latin woman (by which i mean she was like, "good job, you didn't trash the place, see ya"), and then we stood out by my car freezing and laughing about the ghetto high school i went to, where all of the bathrooms were covered in graffiti, the school was built in the style of a prison (no joke), where the top performing third of my graduating class was ivy league material and the bottom performing third was a conglomeration of white trash, juvenile delinquents, and future felons, or a combination of the three.

actually, scratch that. you know how hollywood sections off the smart, nerdy kids from the party kids from the athletes from the band kids, and whatever? yeah, well, where i went to school, the smart kids were the athletes were the partiers were the class officers were gangsta wannabes were in band and orchestra and even theater sometimes, too.

so that, if you're wondering, is where i got the interesting combination that my twitter bio has named classy and gangster. with the 'er,' if you please. (<-- that's the nerd in me talking) & apparently this combination is really funny, because i pulled it out while colleen and i were freezing by my car and we were both laughing hard.

so, a lesson learned from kati and colleen: slipping into vernacular learned from living in metro detroit, in front of people who don't expect it and in an environment where no one else even conceives of such a vocabulary, is pretty funny.

i'm down for that.

basically, i like any excuse to laugh. like this one: my mom and brother were up the other day and my brother said to me, trying to get a reaction, "i'm on summer break before you."

i said, "yeah, and how long's that last, like a week?"

see, my brother decided he was going to transfer from the University of Sometimes-We-Think-We're-Michigan to the University of We-Really-ARE-Michigan, which means he has to take summer classes to catch up to all the other sophomore nursing students at the University of We-Really-ARE-Michigan. and i just graduated, so the way i see it, i'm on summer break for the rest of my life.

so he said, "yeah."

my mother said, "no. hours."

me: "wait, what? when do you start at michigan?"

he said, "tuesday."

it was thursday. he had summer break for four days, people. four days! and i was about to be on summer break for the rest of my life.

so then, of course, i start laughing, because of the irony of his bragging over starting his Summer Break of Four Whole Days before i started my Summer Break of the Rest of My Life.

then my mother tries to continue the conversation, at which point i interrupted and said, "you have to let me laugh properly about this first."

but she didn't, because my mother always likes to get to the point of things. and the Point of That Thursday was to pick up my brother and drive home, not let me laugh about my brother's Summer Break of Four Whole Days, and the Point of Driving Home was so that my mother could get four hours of sleep before going to work the next morning, at which point i was like, "i just ran my entire wednesday on approximately ninety minutes of sleep, so i have zero sympathy for you."

but i really did have sympathy, because i love sleeping more than i love to laugh.

scratch that. i love to laugh more. that's why i stayed up reading mindy kaling's book instead of going to bed.

all this to say: if you love to laugh, go read mindy kaling's book.

*let's discuss how mindy is now one of my favorite people because she knows that the singular of criteria is criterion. 

3 comments:

  1. this post was pretty much genius. you are hilarious.

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  2. Definitely putting this on the summer reading list! And my dorm was designed like a prison too!!

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  3. That is hilarious. And I didn't know of "hot mess" until I heard it one day when my roommates were watching "Jersey Shore" or something.

    Also, how does it feel to be totally done? I'm not totally done (i.e. diploma in hand) until the 20th. :(

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