Monday, September 3, 2012

idiosyncrasies

here's an interesting pattern for you: whenever i tell people my mom is from honduras and add that it's in central america, without any prompting, they already know that. whenever i don't, people ask where it is and i have to explain it.

in fact, when i said my mom was from honduras to a coworker the other day, she said, "what's that?" and i wanted to lie down on the table of tank tops nearby and just sob.

^that's what living in metro detroit is like. just so y'all are aware. and it gets worse. once, i was at my dad's school speaking to a group of students about my experiences in france. i had mentioned i'd gone to eurodisney while i was there, so one student asked what language the disney characters at the park spoke.

i wanted to say, "THEY'RE IN FRANCE SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?"

instead, i said, "well, they don't speak...but if they did, they would speak french..."

the good thing about being in metro detroit is that, for one, i am not the only white person within a hundred miles who turns up their music loud. because on the west side, i literally was the only white person who played their music loud. if i heard basses thumping on the west side, i could tell you without looking they were black. if i hear basses thumping on the east side, all i can tell is they're under thirty years of age.

this is one of MANY reasons i am glad to be back in SEMI.

that's southeast michigan, fyi. we have a lot of semi-trucks all over the place in SEMI so i feel that's an especially appropriate abbreviation.

that all brings us to one reason i am NOT glad to be back in SEMI: the traffic.

OH MY GOODNESS, THE TRAFFIC.

there are two cities - well, there are more, but there are only two that i have to deal with on any kind of a semi-regular basis - in SEMI where if you don't toe the line right at the speed limit, you WILL get pulled over. not that you can drive at the speed limit anyway because some people think the slow lane means the SLO-O-O-O-O-W lane.

we live in the motor city. the slow lane means the speed limit lane. the fast lane means the faster-than-speed-limit lane.

right?

anyway, the traffic stinks and i am fully convinced my brakes are shot even though my dad had my car checked while i was in spain and my brakes are fine. (they had better be. they got replaced last summer.)

despite the traffic, i am more happy than i can even express that i do not have to drive on a single highway to get to work, much less three like i had to on the west side. although i do have to drive past the highway ramps, which means MORE TRAFFIC.

and since i'm tired of talking about and complaining about and even just thinking about traffic, we're gonna take a hot michigan left right out of this train of thought.

especially since we have a lot of train tracks in downriver SEMI, and if you get stuck waiting behind one of those things you're gonna be stuck there for a while.

ask me how i know.
a throwback to my downriver days while driving in GRMI

michigan
the state that:
looks like a mitten
touches four out of the five great lakes
&
DON'T YOU WANT TO COME VISIT?!

4 comments:

  1. Oh, our "Michigan turns"--nowadays I'm surprised when I'm traveling in other states and there are no Michigan turns! The traffic is a huge reason why I'm pretty sure I'll never willingly live in a big city, though.

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  2. I definitely laughed out loud about EuroDisney! I probably would have just walked away...

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    Replies
    1. oh, believe me, i wanted to cry! seriously?! who asks that?

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  3. Once during an impromptu geography quiz in high school, someone asked what was land and what was water. I thought I was going to die of shock. But there really isn't anything like Michigan. Most days I am so glad I left. Too bad friends and family still live there.

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